Dear Future Me,
I want to talk a little about my relationship with the gym and also common courtesy because those are two topics that have come up lately. What I should really be talking about is how the Canadian government fell while I was cleaning the bathroom, but I don’t exactly have an opinion on that yet. If you do want to hear some relevant things, go to this link:
I’m sorry I don’t know how to hyperlink things, but really that right there is an excellent blog written by my friend the Gorg and he actually has like, intelligent criticisms of the system and shit. Totally intimidating, let me tell you.
Also, I went back to twitter. My twitter handle (is that what they’re called?) is lesleyanana and I promise I occasionally say funny shit. I quit twitter for a while but like five new people started following me while I refused to tweet so I thought I’d come back out of courtesy. I’ve lost two followers since returning, so I guess I’ll just keep tweeting until everybody stops listening and then we can all go home happy.
Speaking of being polite, seriously everybody: be polite. It helps. It makes everything easier. For reals.
Example: nothing was ever accomplished with a snarky email.
Professionalism has its benefits, sure, but even if you think your boss/coworker is some sort of troll-porkchop hybrid, you’re better off being nice in emails. Not because random people actually deserve to be treated well (let’s be honest – we could probably fit all the people who have earned kind treatment into my living room) but it is much more likely to get you what you want. When I get a pissy email from someone, I pretty much ignore the content and just kind of fall back into wondering why your parents didn’t drown you at birth. Fact.
Here’s another example: if you are nice to random service people (like waitresses and retail people) you will get much better service. Do this especially if you have to complain about something or want a refund. If you are nice you are one million times more likely to get what you want and at least ten times less likely to get your food spit on.
Let me tell you a story: I took my Sopie out to dinner for her like fourteenth birthday and I ordered a spinach salad (because I was a fucking metropolitan teenager) and it was pretty gross. So I didn’t eat it. The waiter wandered by and asked me how the food was, and I was like “Actually this is pretty awful”, but nice about. He asked me if I wanted anything else. I said no. A few minutes went by and the manager came up and apologized. In the end, I didn’t pay for my dinner, our drinks or desert. The two of us ate for like $20.
Would I have gotten my dinner for free if I complained and made a bitch of myself? Probably. But I doubt he would have thrown desert and drinks into the bargain. Being nice pays off. In money.
Talk nice to people. Say please and thank you, even when you don’t need to. It will get you what you want, and we all like that. Don’t worry that doing things to get what you want makes you a bad person. Those feelings will pass with time. Promise.
Also, the gym! I am joining it. I keep hearing my friends talk about working out and it is making me realize that I miss, you know, moving. Sometimes. Plus, swimsuit season is coming and I want to be able to crush a man to death between my thighs. In my swimsuit. Dream come true.
In conclusion, follow me on twitter before I quit again, go read of the Gorg and be comforted, the Canadian government no longer exists and also be nice to people.
Read a goddamn newspaper (about the election!)