Dear Future Leslee,
Food. I love it more than most people I know. Which isn’t to say that I don’t know a lot of wonderful, delightful people. I totally do! Much love to all my people. However, food trumps all y’all and I’m pretty sure I would kill a family member for pad Thai on a bad day.
You know what, Future Me? I’m sorry. This isn’t really a letter to you. This is actually a letter to food. A love letter. So let me start over:
Listen, I know we said we’d keep this casual. I really do want to see other people…er…inanimate objects. For example, boots. You know boots. She’s a really sweet girl. I don’t think I could live without her. But how I feel about boots…it’s just not the same. It could never be as intense, as passionate as I feel about you. This thing we have, it’s something really special.
I don’t know how some people live their entire lives only vaguely aware of how much they need you. Heck, I have friends who totally resent your intrusion in their lives. These people would rather not have to even deal with you, but I can’t understand them. You are the most beautiful, intriguing, inspiring thing ever. I’m so grateful just to have you…
How about sushi? I love that shit. I could eat sushi every other day for years and never get sick of it. Is there some kind of crack in sushi? Because I am addicted to it. I’m addicted to you. I can’t live without you. YOU COMPLETE ME.
Or homemade chicken soup. Holy crap. That broth, so hot and savoury…just a little salty. Hints of celery and soft, crumbling carrots…chicken that melts like chocolate. Please, baby Jesus, JUST PUT IT IN MY VEINS. I need that on my health card somewhere. “Note: please do not use normal saline or ringer’s lactate in I.V. pump. Substitute with hearty broth. Strain for chunks.”
Okay, so I am bad at love letters. But I hope I am making it clear just how much you mean to me. Life just wouldn’t be the same without you.
What about a great glass of wine? A strawberry milkshake on a hot day? Roasted sweet potato? Steamed king crab? A hot smoked meat sandwich? Cold pizza the night after? Eggs Benedict? Watermelon slices? Dark chocolate, so dense and rich it gives you shivers?
Food, you are my first and best love. I hope things never change between us.
With all my uncomplicated adoration,
…Anyway, Future Me, sorry to take over like that. But I just really needed to let food know how I feel. I couldn’t keep these desires a secret any longer. Also, I know there are many people who feel just as strongly about food as I do. That’s okay, though, I’m willing to share. I’m generous like that.
For reals not jealous,