Listen, you are only about twenty-three right now and things are kind of confusing, although not AS confusing as when you were in highschool (and there is a reason we’ve deleted those Livejournal accounts). Anyway, there might be some things you’ll want to remember in a few years, Future Me, so I am going to make a point of recording all of my no-doubt brilliant insights on such subjects as public transportation, sex, lentils (you don’t like them and you shouldn’t feel bad about it), best friendships and your strange fascination with only watching TV shows that have already been cancelled.
So anyway, future me, I hope you are having fun cavorting around Hollywood, being the President of Awesome and all that. Me, I pulled the door off my closet the other day and gave myself a black eye. These are the sacrifices I’m making for you!